Fed up With Menopause Symptoms! (Men welcome to read)
89Note: I wrote this two years ago, had forgotten about this article. I share because all women will experience the change of life at some point. Thankfully, I do not experience the waves of anger (it was so alien to me!) or over eat as I used to. I am happy to see the improvements I made, which includes eating healthy. I love veggies nowadays as I mentioned to Tatjana in one of her hubs, I actually make vegetable sandwiches, that's my body speaking and me listening to its wisdom. I personally feel I found this article to keep me motivated with even more changes I want to create.
I added my significant other's male perspective on menopause on the right of this hub towards the end of the article. He is brave. :) I love the men of nowadays! ________________________________________________________________
I am fed up, no, not fed up with my relationship, my next door neighbor, my boss, or the economy; as a matter of fact, I am one of those women who got lucky in love during her late 40's and I am very grateful. Perhaps still being young enough to have vitality, but having more wisdom as I got older, helped me to come into this relationship with more maturity. As for my next door neighbors, they just wave and smile, which is fine with me, as I enjoy solitude; the boss, I got rid of 12 years ago, not in the way you may think, I quit the stress of corporate America and its politics that may drain one's soul, after working for 23 years, and learned to earn my living away from the 9-5 job structure, and as for the economy, I watch what I spend more closely now, and hope for the best.
I am fed up with the ups and downs of the life change. In comparison to several of my friends, I have done well as I take the supplements and herbs I recommend in my site and articles, and have not experienced hot flashes; but its not good enough for me to be doing well in comparison to others; I want to feel vibrant, and totally in harmony. Its not fun getting itchy all of a sudden that not even scratching brings relief, or having an unexpected wave of what I call mini panic feelings, or sudden anger rush through me while I am laying in bed getting ready to fall asleep, when I am not an angry woman by nature; these rushes come unexpectedly and are gone within seconds; I know enough to be able to understand this is the hormone monster doing its number on me, like it does for millions of other women.
I decided to take a self-inventory and be totally blunt with myself, and see where the weak link is in me, not to judge or be hard on myself, but to correct the patterns I have created for myself that weakens my body's defenses. I want to show the symptoms the door and wave them, adios, adieu, good-bye, from my body and life. The body has a magnificent capacity to heal and respond to loving self-care.
So, with a deep breath, I took a pen in hand, and asked myself "what am I doing to sabotage my well being?" And, I wrote one word quickly:
Perseverance. That's it for me.
I am like the doctor who takes care of patients, but does not always take care of herself; I share my health knowledge freely with friends, family and readers, but do not always practice what I preach. I start programs for a few days, maybe a few weeks and revert back to my old ways before I give my brain and body a chance to set new patterns. One thing, I take faithfully are my supplements and herbs, as I feel its positive effects and drink plenty of water.
Perseverance is all I need and the rest will follow. So, here is my plan, once again:
Cleansing: I know, I can use a short fast to cleanse my body. Did this four years ago with "The Lemonade Diet", or Mastercleanse as its commonly called, and I could smell the bark of the trees in congested NY on the fourth day of my 10 day fast, and had glowing skin and healthy blood pressure. Amazing what a cleansing can do! Why not try again? It's just a few days of washing the inside of my body. It will help with menopausal symptoms, as a clean body is a stronger body.
Diet: Oh, how I love food, most of us do. My weakness is, I don't add enough veggies to my meals, and have a sweet tooth. Easy to remedy, just add more greens to my meals and I will be comfortable with my eating patterns, and cut down on sweets. As my body becomes more balanced, the cravings for sweets will improve.
A Word from the Hormonally Challenged! (a man's perspective) :)
Phil, my companion had the courage to step into one of my blogs and share his perspective and experience with me. LOL! The truth is, he is very supportive and pretty much represents the modern man who is not embarrassed to admit he understands a woman with sensitivity, while he also lives in a man's world where he can see things logically and objectively.
We both have worked out a system where we communicate with one another, when neither one of us may be feeling very good, as human emotions even in the best of relationships, do fluctuate. I wrote an an article " "Little trick I Use To Ride Out Mood Swings" and need to find it.
Okay, generally speaking, it's not such a good idea for a man to be offering words of wisdom about men-o-paws. It's a little like saying to your wife while she's in the midst of labor, "Yes, dear, I feel your pain." I promise you, sooner or later she'll make sure you really do! What I've found to be the most effective means of continuance during the mate's hormonal fluctuations is to reflexively raise my hands in abject surrender and say, "Okay, okay, just don't hurt me!"
On the other hand, men may not be as oblivious to this hormonal onslaught as some women imagine. After all, every hormonally enraged teenage boy knows the experience of totally losing control of his mind and body in the presence of an attractive girl. It's only later that he thinks, "What the hell was that all about and who was that person in my body anyway?" For some men, this process of demonic possession never seems to quite end, but that's another story. All of us, male or female, are subject to periods of hormonal fluctuation and changes along with their attendant physical and emotional effects. There are phases of life that everyone goes through and I believe these are primarily hormonally driven.
On the third hand, most men have a unique perspective on women and hormonal reactions, and one thing that is surprising to me is the wide range of responses to a seemingly similar set of physical or emotional symptoms. There may be some totally nonsensical thoughts and feelings arising, but how a woman responds to this speaks volumes about a woman's maturity and strength of character.
Marie and I spend practically every moment together, and we like it that way, and so there's very little that we experience that is not shared in some way with each other. What strikes me is how remarkably aware she is about what's happening in her mind and body. Instead of her emotions or discomfort driving her through the day, she may inform me, in an almost detached way, that she's feeling some discomfort or her emotions are a bit volatile, and gives me the opportunity to run for my life. Hehe. But of course, that's never necessary because she's already aware, see? She knows it's not about me and she sees no reason to make it about me. This is a maturity of character that I've come to appreciate and admire, but I never intend to take for granted.
Okay, Marie, am I out of the dog house now? Hehe.
Movement: As in walking ... having relocated from NY to a rural town in the West Coast, I don't walk as I used to and my body doesn't like it. I have been meaning to take up qiqong and will order DVD to get started; qiqong is an aspect of Chinese medicine involving the coordination of different breathing patterns with various physical postures and motions of the body. Breath and movement are the mana of life. This form of energy medicine keeps the body supple, which is beneficial, as we get older.
The turning point in any struggle is when the mind says enough is enough, if the situation cannot be changed, we then reach a point of surrender and acceptance, but if change is possible, we can get the motivation to make changes; if we choose to be totally passive, then we create our own hell on earth. Not an empowering choice.
Hopefully by sharing, I will encourage other women to take charge of their well being, even if they have failed in their efforts in the past.
So, what do you need to change to experience a more comfortable entry into menopause and keeping your health and vitality well into your postmenopausal years?
Listen to the answer and lovingly follow through, it will make a difference!
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Cris, you had the courage to stop by! Haha. See... Phil had something to say, poor guy. :) Thanks for being here, you made me smile.
But this friend will go through hell and high water AND men-o-paws hubs to make you smile my friend :D
LOL! You really made me chuckle and smile, thanks for this! hehe.
Mary,
this is very honest, interesting and so touching Hub.
My problem started last year when I did not have time to regularly meditate. Periods stopped 3 years later (I did not want them any more)...without any significant change.
Up till last winter.
OK, I did not have any mood swings (because I had them all in previous years with thyroid problem, so when I healed thyroid, I promised myself that I will never have mood swings again. My body obeyed, so last year was:
-no mood swings
-no hot flashes (I promissed myself years ago that I will never have any hot flashes, and voila!Nothing to warn me that something was going on)
Instead of above mentioned warnings, to me it happened something very cunning, what I did not connect with hormones at all:
-I started to loose energy so in several weeks I was not able to walk, every step was painful and difficult
-I was not able to think, there was no focus, my mind was blurry.
-I was not interested in any sexual activity at all. Sex and men were something very disgusting.
- I was like slowly dying, LIFE LOST COLOURS
-I could not get adequate financial results, I was working a lot, but with little financial materialization. Sex hormones influence ability to materialize MONEY:
At first, I did not connect any of my problems to the hormones, because I used to have plenty of them (despite the fact there was no periods). While healing one client, with menopausal problems I realized what my problem was. When preparing her remedies, I left extra part of remedies to myself and drunk it diluted with water. I prepared 2 lb remedy-energized-water and drunk it all.
In one half of hour, it was old me again: alive, happy, full of energy (that day I walked without stopping for 7-8 miles). So there was no doubt that hormones make big change.
My Mum says that herbs work very slow for menopausal problems, so I never tried any herb.
The both of us now use only my remedies: these are homeopathic/vibrations of the hormones (estrogens, progesterone, testosterone. In adequate potencies. The beauty of them is - that like all vibrational remedies, they work - quickly.
Hehe, my BF got also in one period vibration of testosterone,(plus other hormones in lower dose) because he was dying to. In addition he had to clean his liver, so now is fine. But, just in case, remedies for him are - on the shelf, waiting...Before he used to have mood changes and hot flashes, hahaha, we definitely influence one another...(Actually his low hormonal levels affected mine ones)
I never expected that this change can be so...strange. The worst is that women (or men) who have problem usually do not see it, or deny it, or just do not have energy to ask for help. Lack of hormones definitely influence cognitive abilities and make people very slow in making appropriate decisions and realizations.
Winter is especially difficult for that problem.
We loose our hormones due to the previous intensity of life (biologickal clock is not that one which matters: I know some women that had regular periods up til age of 60 and were full of hormones and energy. )
Your Phil is great, really.
Wishing you to help yourself even more then up till now, there is no need to suffer through this period at all.
Love and light and many hugs.
Hi, Tatjana: I am better now this year, it was two years ago when I experienced all this hormonal strangeness; I didn't think I was going to struggle, but it did affect me, and to think I had a menopause website, so I had all this knowledge that could help myself and others. I am intrigued by how quickly the radionics remedies worked!
I am going to send you a email, and going off to sleep, so if you respond, I will reading today. :)
And yes, Phil is great, very modern and he also has energy issues at times, but he is a healer and can bring himself back to balance. Thanks, Tajana for your sharing here! Its appreciated as it helps me and all readers.
Hi Marie! It was very thoughtful of you to have brought this up. Medical science does give hormonal therapy as an option but I've heard that it has side effects (but then which modern medicine doesn't have!!!). It's so difficult a stage in a woman's life that ending life sometimes seems to be the only option. Possibly its due to the hormonal imbalance. I hope the Chinese treatment brings some relief. Very sweet of Phil to have joined in. More than women, I suppose, men need to be educated about this subject as they are the ones who turn a cold shoulder to their suffering wives / partners during this horrible phase of life. Do let me know if you find the Chinese treatment beneficial. Thx for a brilliant article.
Well. it's been a very long time since I've had to think about this. Had a really hard time with hot flashes,but that was about it.
Hi, Anjali: I used natural progesterene, and still do, and it helped a lot as HRT is dangerous, and didn't want to go through that route. I am better now as once one goes into full menopause, the body stabilizes. I didn't follow through with Quiquong, decided on Tai Chi, and it helped me with flexibility but not menopause symptoms.
Alexhouse: I wrote an article on how depending on culture, the symptoms are different for women; Japanese women hardly experience discomfort or hot flashes; wonder if its their diet, which is rich in Omegas.
Thanks both for reading and adding your comments!
Marie,
I have tried to fill in this block three times, they say the third is the charm...Great article, great tips, for my current journey. It was a no-brainer for me to find my thyroid storm was directly linked to menopause. Who is to say which was cause and which was effect. Like you, I know and teach the answers yet get slack in my own observance of the doing...until....
I would never have believed anyone could experience such extreme emotions without any apparant provocation. Mine was depression, not anger...either of which is totally out of character and has no reason to be. To be there is to know. Somehow thought my body could transition and I need not make an changes to transition with it. Especially as I have not experienced any of the obvious physical symptoms, no hot flashes, discomfort, then bammm with the weird emotional stuff.
Great tips and as I am currently in the midst so to speak, I will be utilizing some of them. Thank you so much for this timely article I am sure you were inspired to share. Sue
Sue: Amazing how the change of life can bring out challenges! I am glad that you are now in a better place as I am, though I still have some work to do, and have hired Tatjana to help me with as she is very knowledgeable. I am totally, completely focused on self healing (everyone needs a healing or upgrading, whether it be emotional, physical, spiritual or material) and in expanding my awareness, this I don't slack with, my spiritual growth.
Thanks for visiting and sharing!
This is a nice and educative hub. It is indeed meant for all humans, not ladies only. The men have one or two things to learn and share with their loved ones. Thanks.
Great hub VioletSun and the responses were great to read also.
Thank you for sharing it with us.
Philipo: I love to see men stop by and read. Thank you for your openness and comments. :)
D.A.L. I agree with you! The responses are an education for me as well. Apprciated your stopping by.
Wow, very good hub. A friend of mine has started the beginning stages of menopause and during the holidays she had her sister and I ready to run for the hills. :)
My mom went through it very late in her life so I'm believing I will do the same :) I've started reading up on it though and have started living a healthier lifestyle as a means of preparation. Thanks for sharing!
Money Glitch: You will be very glad you started living a healthier life style before your change of life, as any weaknesses that we have may have (be it physical, emotional) may show up when our defenses are down during menopause.
Thanks for stopping by, I am still thinking about your latest hub where you share your perseverance in finishing school, it truly touched me and motivated me!
Like my buddy Cris A said, we are welcomed here right? I hope you don't take offense to this, VioletSun, but I'm glad I'm not a women! Your bodies are like 10 times more complex then ours! That cleansing process was fascinating to say the least...Thank you so much for sharing! I did cheat a bit and read some of the comments here! Good luck to you, as it sounds like your doing much better now :) xox
Dohn
Dohn: Good to see another brave male soul enter this hub! hehe. And yes, I feel better, sigh, I tell ya, its not easy being a woman at times. :) Thanks for stopping by, you guys rock!
Marie, what age does menopause usually starts? LOL I'm with you in keeping one's health and vitality today until whenever...forever! Thanks for sharing this hub. :) Loved Phil's sharing...he is brave! Hahaha And I loved what he wrote about you identifying your emotions and being aware of them. It does make a lot of difference huh? :)
Hi, Michelle: LOL! Phil is quite brave, isn't he? The average age is 45-55. And yes, being aware of one's emotions makes a difference in how we manage them; many people if they are feeling angry or anxious project their anxiety into others when its really not about the "other".
So true...and this is a challenge. I guess this is like when we have our premenstrual symptoms and we can get cranky and irritable or hot tempered. Yes, tell Phil he is brave hahahaha... and full of wisdom!
Okay as the years pass by, let me learn to master my emotions and manage it well so I will be like you! :) Love and light to you both!
Hi Violet Sun! Well, you already know how I feel about you and this article only solidifies that. There is nothing I enjoy better than frank, sincere self expression. Supporting each other only works when we are truthful about our own struggles. We help our selves as we help others when we can honestl say, I'm having a hard time here. We permit others to be open and by sharing so generously we can find solutions together. We may not always have the answers but it helps to know we are not alone.
Thanks for being honest about the mood swings, the panic attacks and the irritability for whatever the underlying cause for any of these symtoms, the experience is the same and support and encouragement goes a far way in finding strength to cope.
Also, I admire your sense of gratitude and happy you have such a wonderful companion. Lots of love, prosperity and joy in the new year.
Winsome, OUTSPOKEN WRITER
Michelle: I sense you will do well, you are a very aware young woman, I often learn from you; glad to be your friend! :)
Outspoken Writer: Good to hear from you! :) After the struggles of my past years, I am deeply grateful for the blessings in my life. I agree we need to be honest, its the only way we can connect from a point of authencity. I still have some work to do in feeling at the level I want to, (though I feel much better) so will be using natural methods.
Lots of love and abudance to you!
Hugs
Wow! I think you reached down in my brain and pulled out some thoughts - then wrote this wonderful hub! Amazing and truly fantastic observations. Thanks so much for your words!
Frogyfish:It so nice that you could relate to the article; makes my day when a reader connects, so thank you for this!
You avatar is fun to look at. :)
Hi Mary! you really get wisdom at your age, and menopause is really a beautiful age for a woman, congrats to all women in menopause they have to not let menopause ruin quality of life!
and to be Be and feel sexier than ever before!
Thanks.
Hello joinphp,
What a beautiful, healthy attitude, I love the awareness that many men have nowadays, its appreciated by us ladies! :) Thank you for reading and commenting.
Very interesting Hub - and we men need to learn about these things, to be sensitive to partners' needs and ready to do what is needed to support them. Not only at menopause, obviously, but especially then. Thanks for sharing
Love and peace
Tony
Tony: Good to see another male stop by this hub. :) Having a mutual sensitivity is important to a healthy relationship. Men go through their changes too. Thanks for reading and adding your comments.
Great insights and advice as always! I have found Chlorella to be very helpful with these symptoms! :)
Justmesuzanne: I like this tip! Thanks for sharing!
unlike a lot of women i started having my private summers when i was about 35 and they are still going.the mood swings aren't really that bad for me but the flashes still come.fortunately i have them under control ( it has been 20 years for me ) WOW it really has been a long time but i am in excellent health. i guess since it started early for me i just saw it as a part of my life telling me that the baby factory was shutting down ( good thing since i have already contributed to the population )and it's me time. The joys of no birth control which only made me fat and no monthly cycles which only made me mad is over.i rather like these years and all that come with it. private summers and all....great hub.....thx 4 share
on another note i have changed my avatar, just saying because some of my friends were not sure if it was little old me.....Be Well
Loveofnight: LOL, thanks for mentioning the change of avatar as I was wonering if there was another hubber with a similar name as yours. :) I am happy I don't have montly cycles, whoooooOOoo, but had to adjust to other uncomfy changes which are by now minor. Thanks for stopping by!
Great hub! I just finished my final hub on my hormone allergy and I love reading about how other women have dealt with their hormone problems. It is truly amazing all the functions of the body that hormones affect. The slightest imbalance and all heck breaks loose. I have certainly had my fair share of emotional trauma caused by hormones. Bit different circumstances but still involving hormones. Phil is fantastic for being so understanding. My hubby has finally come around to the realization of how hormones can affect everything in your body. It took him to see very physical symptoms and it was pretty rough between the 2 of us for a while. His understanding has made things so much easier for the both of us. It is so great that you have chosen to avoid HRT, very bad stuff!!! My series of hubs are about my natural hormone treatment that I developed and has saved my life. Hormone problems can literally kill if not recognized and treated. Really great info, thanks so much for sharing!!!
She-rah: Isn't it amazing how hormonal changes affects every aspect of our lives? I am very self aware, so I ws shocked to find that the change of life affected me the way it did. I will be reading your hubs for sure!
Thanks for stopping by!
I was pretty self aware also but had no idea the way they were affecting me. You'll be pretty shocked when you read my story. Really want to get the info out there for other women with hormone related medical problems. Or at least have them recognize that serious medical problems could be hormonally related.
VioletSun ...Good to be back in gear again and writing. I like your article. I agree with you .."take charge" ...listen to your body and it will tell you what to do. I gave up eating meat for a while and slowly added it back to my diet but made sure it was organic. Then I listened to see if it would wake me in the night.
I added some favorite supplements and read and researched. There is a lot of information to help and thank you for helping others understand that there will be changes and we are not unique in this.
On the lighter side ...I sure would have enjoyed life more if I knew what was in store for me!! Things my mother never told me :-)
My best to your health!!
Gcody: You are right, I don't remember my own Mom telling what would be in store menopause wise! I think the next generation of women will be even wiser because they have grown up with the internet and have access to great information that empowers them.
Good to see you! :)
Also wishing you the best of health!
Stopped by to read this hub since I am trying to understand what has been happening to me for the last couple of years. Does that Lemonade Thingy work?
And since it is 2 years ago that you wrote this hub...do you feel much, much better now? I would like to know if there is a light at the end of the tunnel.:P
I have started exercising and eating better and meditating...hoping to see some changes soon.
Great hub.
Diana: Oh, how I feel for you! I feel much better which means most of the symptoms I felt when writing this hub such as unexpected anger (that was weird!) and itchiness is gone (thank God!) The insomnia I used to have for decades is gone too but with Tatjana's help recently (she prescribed homeopathy remedies). I still have the mini panic thingy, I call it mini as its a mild fear that comes over me suddenly and I am still working on that. I know what to take which is inositol. The key is to balance your hormones, Maca is very good, and the lemonade diet is excellent for everything - I am doing it again to cleanse my body and it helped me two years ago. My mate and I own TheLemonadediet.com, but I am not trying to sell you anything, as you can get the ingredients on your own, but suggest you read Stanley Burroughs little booklet. My sister cured herself of arrhythmia with the cleanse much to her doc's displeasure, as she also changed her eating habits after the cleanse and started to exercise.
Thanks for stopping by! :)
Thats a brilliant piece of work violetsun. We men just dont get it what goes in a woman body, but the way you have written gives a picture of what women must be undergoing. Well bookmarked this hub for later years when my wife will be undergoing the same!!
Jayb: It warms my heart when I see open minded men like you who are willing to work in understanding their mate's changes; they are real and no matter how subtle,. it affects ALL women. Your wife is blessed!:) I am blessed that I have an understanding mate, made things easier to manage.
Thanks for the comments!
I am a happy post menopause woman. Happy not to worry about birth control,happy not to have a period (what a drag), and happy to have lost the mood swings that I experienced every single month. (Maybe I miss the highs a bit). Happy to not have the monthly bloat. Getting old is fun!
Dolores: LOL! I like your attitude! I am happy as I am now post menospuase, but when going through the change it was kind of challenging, which surprised me as I took good care of myself. And yes, not having the monthly cycle is freeeeing. :)
Hey, nice write! Why is a guy reading this anyway! Saw the title and it spurred another idea for a hub piece. Surviving my wife's menopause. (Like writing humor) It wasn't that funny at the time. Anyway, got to go and write before its gone. Having weathered menopause, forgetfullness can't be that far away.
Arb, LOL, would love to read your hub! Glad I or we inspired you to write a humorous piece on surviving your lady's menospause. Men and women will appreciate it! :)
Nice hub which is well shared,thanks
Thanks, Ez for reading and adding your comments!
Cris A 2 years ago
You did say men are welcome to read! Haha
I really don't know what to say - so maybe i'll just pass on your um travails to some female friends and hopefully they'll learn something that could save their um sanity!
Oh wait.. have to read what Phil had to say :D