Mama's Winter
63
When I was in my teens, early 20's and 30's, I used to write poetry. I have a deep appreciation for poetry in all forms, because poetry was my healing balm during times when life was not easy. When I read the poetry of others, I am honored to catch a glimpse of the poet's heart and soul.
This poem was written in my 30's, when I suddenly noticed the radical change in my mother; my mother had me late in life, so she was a senior when I was young. One gets so used to having a mom being there for you, until the tables are turned and its our mother looking for love, nurturing and understanding.
Wherever Mom is now in spirit, I thank her for bringing us to the USA from South America and giving us better life opportunities, and above all for loving each one of her children unconditionally.
Mama's Winter
It is hard to see the woman
who gave me life
age right before my eyes.
It was only yesterday
or so it seems
when she was strong,
bold and unafraid.
She seized life in her hands
and gave her children a chance
for a greater life.
Now that winter is upon her
and her pace has slowed,
now that she asks through eyes
that have seen it all,
for my love and understanding
of the changes that have
taken place in her life-
I take the life I am seizing in my hands
and return her gift
by embracing her
with my
love.
Copyright 2010
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Very beautiful and sad at the same time. I can really relate to this...only I'm the mother and my two daughters are wistfully watching me fade...also sad but part of life.
I was a late baby too. My children were tiny when my mum died, and I've missed having her around, and I'm sad she didn't see the kids growing up. Your poem sums it up so well. One minute we're the child basking in our mother's love, then suddenly everything goes into reverse gear, and that special person needs us to care for them instead.
Marie - I admire the beautiful relationship that you have had with your mom. May you both be blessed with heart felt moments.
Your poem is absolutely beautiful! Thanks for sharing.
Sage
What a splendid tribut of love and gratitude to your mother. You have lerned from her courage and wisdom; that alone will make her proud.
You brought tears to this Saddles eyes. I have seen the pain in my mothers eyes. I saw her beauty in her soul at all times as she bent in shame by the hand of a drunkard man. I just wrote a poem about that abuse.
No matter that your mother brought you to life in her senior year, she was a kind, generous, loving soul to you and the great respect you show here, is a wonderful tribute to your loving mother. Thank you for the share. peace and hugs.
Michelle: I love tears, I call them God tears when something touches us. :) We became best friends as I matured; she was the only one that I could hear over the telephone, and we would talk for hours. Strange, but I have a girlfriend whose late mom had hearing issues, and could only understand my friend over the phone.
Nancy: You are in a better place than my mother, still active, attractive but understand what you are saying. Mom was a very elegant, slim woman and looked younger than her years, but her health and mind started to detoriate in her early 70's and she ended up with Alzeihmer's.
Amanda: So you also had an older mom; I had the advantage that by the time she had me, she was already experienced in motherhood, so didn't experience what my older siblings did with Mom, which was she was stricter with them.
Sage: My relationship became beautiful as I got older, but when in my teens, I was quite a handful. We used to clash, but I guess that's not uncommon. I was angst ridden, poor mom. LOL.
Petra: Oh, thank you so much, your comments made my eyes wet.
Saddlerider: Yes, as I mentioned to Amanda, I actually had it better than my older siblings, as mom was wise by the time she had me, so she handled me differently. I like the tears in Saddle's eyes. :) Will be checking out your poem today.
Thanks everyone for your comments!
Oh - that was so beautiful! It's always sad to see the one who was in control become dependent and frail but when they are embraced with love like that, everything is worth it!
Shalini: I guess Creation is perfect, the opportunity to express love never ends. Thanks for the visit and kind comments. Just saw an announcement that you wrote a hub, going to take a peek. :)
Really Marie? You could hear her..now that is amazing?
Michelle, Yes! Perfectly, we would jabber like teenagers; I can hear, just not very well, but, she was the only I could understand perfectly. I have had 3 occasions, where my hearing gets clearer, even hear my own "accent", and understand Phil very well, he had tears in his eyes. This happened after Phil did Hopononono for me,but the I reverted back to lower hearing.
How sweet and real this is ...
Marie, this is amazing story- with your hearing issue, your Mum and Phil & Hopononono.
It was certainly big shock for you when your Mum`s illness started.
It would be great that we all develop conscious switch ON/OFF of sounds that sorrunds us. My boyfriend developed that ability in a way - he is able not to hear people at all when he doesn`t want to, even when he is talking to them - his brain allows him some kind if lower hearing, when wanted. In another occasions he filtrates only the sounds he wants to hear. Otherwise, his hearing is perfect - he even used to be musician. He developed this ability in the time of puberty, when his father started to be big family problem due to aggression and alcohol...as a way of protection.
Well, of course, this ability becomes sometimes a problem as well - he does not hear (he really does not) or filtrates even when it would be good for him to listen and hear. Obviously he got used to switching off too often, even when is no need for that. When I am with him I recognize the moments when he switches off the sound (I see that on his face) so I usually hear what people say, he does not even bother to try to be ON, altough he appears to the others like he is hearing them.
When I was child, my Mum was living and working in Germany, and wanted that I come to live there with her when I was 7. Altough it was nice to be with my Mum, for me that was big shock and I suddenly could not communicate, I could not say "yes" of "no", altough I knew enough of German to start to talk to other children, for me that was completely foreign world and I did not feel good with idea of living there (visiting was nice, but living there!)...mainly because of language. I still remember situation when two nice kids were playing with me in the backyard and trying to talk to me - I understood them completely, I knew what to tell and how to tell on German, but was not able to tell a word. Somehow I felt too ashamed and blocked to talk. At the end, they asked me to tell just "yes" or "no" or even my name... instead of answering on German, what I was completely blocked to, I was able to answer on Croatian, what they did not understand, what made me feel ashamed again so I run away. Altough Germany was at that time "land of opportunities", as much as USA (at least for some people), I would not be happy to live there and if I stayed there would certainly developed some communication problems, hearing problems or something similar to that.
German language is completely different then mine, in words and in sintaxe, rhytm of language is different, as much your language (Spanish?) differs from English. (BTW, sintaxe of English is very much alike to Croatian, so my brain is not disturbed altough languages completely differ)
Our brains are naturally wired to hear and understand some groups of languages more easier then the others. Sounds of language is also important -Latinoamerican languages are warm, soft, melodious, emotional, give feeling of protection, English can sound much colder, and belongs to the completely different group of languages.
In addition, when child is exposed to such big life change as you were...to the completely foreign world who has prejudices to the newcommers and to the unknown future, I am not surprise that some health problem occurs, as a way to protect you from this new world. Your Mum was your protection - that is the reason you heard her (and understood her accent) perfectly.
I hope I guessed right,
Love and many Hugs
Oh Violet Sun! Such a touching close-to-the-heart poem, simple and beautiful. Your have a lovely way with poetry!
I, too, was my mother's later-life child. She called me her "nest-egg". And yes, she was older than most of my friends' moms, but she was more than their equal in zest for life and giving to life as much as it gave to her - plenty!
During an unfortunate marriage, I was separated from her geographically for almost 2 decades except for annual visits in the spring. It was always so amazing to find her still so vibrant one year to the next, though when I married and went to live so far away she was already 62! But her verve seems endless and I was so happy to find her going on so vigorously.
After that period of isolation for me, when I did get to come back to Texas permanently, she still seemed lively. -By then I was in my 40s and she was in her 80s. It was such a shock when so soon after I came back, her courageous heart began to weaken as her lungs which had been asthmatic as as child began to succumb. When she put them at risk in order to go to my Dad (in a nursing home) on a snowy day, and rolled down the windows & stuck her head out so she could see the road, she got pneumonia and it took her as quickly as she usually performed things all those 81 years of her amazing life.
I'll never get over missing her - and I often wonder whether she was putting up a brave front during some of those last times. Even when she was really becoming unwell at the last she sounded vigorous on the phone. I guess her will to live and survive in any way she could was too strong. She had a little smile on her face at the end, when life had gone from her body. -Her joyous spirit seems to be dancing. And I feel her constantly as a part of myself, an inner companion. Seems fitting. I came from her, after all.
Hi guys, Just got back from Mt Hood with my mate, and while dinner is cooking, I can sit down and reply to my latest Hubpages’ friends comments. :)
De Greek: I guess being human we all can identify with life’s reality, which is that change is constant, including that of our loved ones and ourselves.
Tatjana: I printed your comments before leaving the house this morning and shared with Phil while driving to Mt Hood your observations. Its amazing, how right on you are; my Dad was an alcoholic, and I believe I started to turn off my hearing unconsciously though nothing was wrong with my ears to tune out arguments at home. I immigrated to the USA at age 7, and around age 10, Mom took me to specialists as she suspected I had something wrong with hmy hearing, but, I remember a surgeron telling my Mother, there is was nothing wrong with your daughter’s hearing, she has perfect hearing. All specialists said the same thing! It seems, the official “damage” to my ears came about later at age 13 when docs did find nerve damage. Its amazing how the mind works, it can create illness to an organ. Your observations about my being able to hear mom because she was my security is understood by me. Thanks for this, as I am working on releasing my hearing blocks. :)
Love to you my friend, you are a healing angel.
Nellianna: My mother was also in her 80’s when I was in my 40’s. I understand that since you didn’t see her too often, the changes in your mother were more visible for you than it was for me as I saw her everyday, or at least once a week, when I moved out on my own. It was just one day, when it hit me, Mom was not the same. To think every daughter and son will experience their parents aging, and its such an amazing journey, I wouldn’t change a thing, the good and not so good, it makes us who we are., I truly believe that Creation gives us an opportunity to continue the bond of love in as many opportunities as possible.
Thanks friends for your comments!
Hi Marie! A couple of days back I received a forwarded e-mail from one of my friends. It depicted the life story of a tree....how it feeds a young boy with its fruits and gives him wood for building his house (when the boy turns in to an adult) and the Tree's selfless service continues till the man grows old and comes back hoping to rest in the shade of the tree, which had once been laden with fruits and green leaves. All his life the selfish man keeps taking away all the luxuries offered by the tree and does not care a wee bit about the tree...about its feelings and its desire to see the man spend some loving moments with it. Finally when the man comes back to the tree in his old age, totally worn out and exhausted, his heart aches to see the slashed trunk in the place of the tree. Tears slowly roll down his eyes as he recalls how terribly selfish he had been all his life by ripping the tree off all it had.
The moral of the story is that we (most of us) turn a blind eye to our parents' emotional needs the whole time and finally when the moment of realization strikes...its already late. MY heart ached when I read that e-mail and I(sort of) re-lived that pain when I read your poem. Some old memories resurfaced. Wonderful read!
Anjali: The story you shared gave me goosebumps, what a beautiful way of relaying a message about opening our hearts to our nurturers. So glad you shared this story here. Always good to see you!
Marie , very nice tribute , it reminds me that no matter that we didn't have the best life as a children that I really miss both my parents. But I Know and feel their presence around me at most times .....stay well.
Ahorseback, Thanks! I agree, our parents are part of us, for better or for worse, so they are missed. I also have felt my Mother around me.
I could just imagine how lovingly your mom is looking back at you so proudly right now!... I feel like crying when I read your poetry, it is a master piece, your eloquence is so captivating and your emotions are artfully shown with your words. Thanks for sharing! =)
DjBryle: Thank you so much for your comments; the visuals of my mother looking back at me, made my day, so thank you again for these words. Gave me a lift today! :)
I have no words for this poem
I love to read it Violetsun
WarrioRR, Thank you for reading and your comments.
I love your poem. Simple but this show how your imagination flight like a bird to make such of beautiful things like this one. I miss winter and I love my moms. Thanks for share with us. Rate up.
Blessing and hugs,
Thank you Pras for your ever present kindness and rating!
Blessing and hugs~
Beautiful, Marie. Hugs to you. :)
Hi Denise, Thank you, good to see you here! Hugs! :)
This is my second visit to this hub. I love snow and I do believe I'll find this on winter. Thank you very much.
Prasetio
Pras, Nice of you to visit a second time! :) I too love snow especially when inside the house and looking out the window and seeing the quiet snow covered streets.
Very Marie, very tender, very warm, very loving. Hugs:)
Thanks Daisy! Good to have you back in Hubpages, missed you. :)
Hugs~
VioletSun,
What a lovely tribute to your Mother. I'm sure she smiles on you from wherever she is. Your poem brings to mind the short time I have left to treasure my Mom - even times when it is taxing and difficult - she's 85 now and still lives on her own nearby. She is the reason for my being here; my friend through thick and thin.
Thanks so much for sharing this beautiful memorial. Now I must go find a tissue. Hugs xxxooo
Pegcole, My eyes got wet when I read your comments. One memory I have before she passed away was of us being in a a park, and she was giggling over a cute toddler, and the birds flying.. she was also at that point in time enjoying sweets that I gave her, at her age (89) I didn't worry about "cholesterol", I mean she was near the end of her life. She passed away a week after this and from old age. This memory gave me peace, a smile and solace. I am simply grateful my very last memory with my Mom is a simple, beautiful one.
Thank you for your comments!
Thank you for stopping by, and enjoy your time with your Mom, life is sacred and precious.
I got a glimpse. I am in the caring stage now, and as hard as it gets sometimes, I am blessed with the understanding and patience to just love first, and all the other issues will take care of themselves.
Die'Dre', Your words gave me goosebumps, words of compassion and wisdom. Thanks for the visit.
VioletSun. Hi. What an absolutely wonderful Poem, written with so much love and compassion.
The relationship you had with your Mother is priceless.
Where ever she is now, I'm sure she is looking out for you,and so very proud to call you her Daughter.
With a tear in my eye I read this poem more than once.
You are a pretty special lady. Thank you for sharing with us. :) :)
Oliversmum, So good to see you, we hardly cross in Hubpages lately, have to visit your hubs as I enjoy your writing too. :) I appreciate what you said about my mother. I confess sometimes, I talk to my mother as if she were alive, I figure she still looks out for her children wherever she is.
Oh evokes some very powerful emotions in me. Thanks!
Pennyofheaven, Thanks for your comments! Glad you could resonate with the poem.
When on those days that you feel restless energy pulling you to the gardens of life and the road , or the woods and the sea , That is all our missing loved ones calling out to us , go with them! Thanks for sharing this with us. And happy holidays to you two too!
Ahorseback, thank you for your beautiful comments, and happy holidays to you as well!
Beautiful. You have a very nice talent with your words and how you make people feel your feelings threw your poetry.
Thank you, Allsurebonds! Your comments are appreciated.
A lovely heartfelt poem. So true for everyone of us.. How can we do without our Mother? Voted UP and awesome
Thank you Scarface for the rating and comments! :) Glad you could relate to the poem.
Lovely! Voted up & Beautiful! :)
Suzanne, thanks for the vote up and reading! :)
this is beautiful, marie. very touching. and the form fits the subject well!
Thanks my fellow Oregonian for reading and your encouragement. :)
no problem, my dear!
ripplemaker Level 6 Commenter 19 months ago
Ooooh you are making me teary eyed Marie. I guess because I feel so much love in this poem, it is overflowing with understanding and compassion and wisdom. I feel your Mom smiling from up above and memories awakening within your heart as you recall the treasures you shared together. Blessings and love to you :)