Suffering is Optional
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I wrote the status below on August 8 in Facebook:
“Had a happy day and nothing spectacular happened, bills still have to be paid, dental work after my accident has to continue, yet, I simply felt a wonderful sense of well-being and a deep appreciation for everything. I now realize, I was in the moment, free from any mental conflict or trips into the past or projections into the future.”
Two weeks earlier as I was walking home on a nice, sunny day, I tripped over a crack in the pavement and fell face down and broke four of my upper front teeth. I remember saying as I was spitting out blood and teeth, “Oh, God, God, I don’t believe this,” and feeling as if my teeth were made of thin paper. Amazing how things, good or bad, can suddenly happen!
Yet, even if my mouth was swollen and bruised, my left arm was hurting as I must have pulled a tendon, I looked and sounded weird without precious teeth, I have learned through out the years from psychology and spirituality to understand that suffering is optional in most cases.
I am not talking about extreme cases where someone is seriously ill, being tortured or has experienced a recent loss, but in most situations in life, suffering is optional. The enlightened teachers talk about suffering being optional in all situations, but to experience this we have to be in that high awareness where there is a clear knowing we are not the body or the identity we think we are. I think of Gandhi who suffered torture while imprisoned and yet remained at peace.
My thoughts when I got home were to make an emergency appointment with the dentist which my significant other took care of. After I settled down, I made a conscious choice to not turn the accident into suffering by running away with my mind. I know how the mind can trap one into suffering so I watch my thoughts. It could have better, but it could have been worse. A friend of ours emailed me a few days later, and asked me how I was doing, and this is part of my email exchange with him:
“I am on the mend, all mouth soreness and inflammation went down after putting ice as per dentist’s orders and hopefully get temp caps next week while he does more work on my teeth. It’s odd, but I haven’t been depressed. As I told Phil, either I turn this into suffering by focusing on every little ache and discomfort (which is plenty!) or just get on with the day”
Thankfully, my teeth look normal now, but we now have a bill for approximately $15,000 for dental work (no, we don’t have dental insurance) and the timing is not great as sales for our online business drops in the summer and we still have business debt to pay off.
The only solution has been to stay present in the moment and taking one step and day at a time, being open to solutions, and dividing part of the remaining dental work between this year and next year.
Stepping out a little from the present, hopefully, in the not too distant future, I will have a gleaming smile like the photo above. :) I think I earned it!
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Thanks, Shalini! :) I am healed now, thank goodness, but just doing dental work on a monthly basis so the bills become easier to manage.
You are so amazing, Marie; the power of your mind and the richness of your soul is an inspiration for me and, I am sure, for many others. Thank you for being YOU.
Don't ever change and spred that "light" God blessed you with
Hi Petra,
So good to see you here! Thanks for your kind words, and the beautiful reminder to never change and to spread the light. :)
This is at least inspiring and refreshing! I hope ou are doing well now and I hope you can smile again more beautiful than before, because it is the smile of victory (over suffering)...Thanks for sharing this. :)
Get well soon.
Hi Mezo, I am doing good now, thanks! And appreciated reading your comments :::smiling with victory::: :)
Hi Violet, so good to see you post on the pages again. Bummer about your injury.
Have you had any realizations as to what the world was reflecting to you . . . other than concrete is really, really hard.
Having the impact be to the mouth, it seems it would have to do with what or how you're are expressing, or not expressing.
Glad you're feeling better. Maybe you can direct some of the well wishes coming to you towards a healing of your bank account. :)
Hi Tk, Good to see you, have been busy writing my book "Beyond Inspiration" so didn't have that much time to write for Hubpages.
Yes, I have wondering why I manifested this...and I think it does have to do with expression. Thanks for the reminder to look a little deeper. ;) And good idea about the energies being directed to the bank account!
What a lovely frame of mind and sweet disposition you have, VioletSun. May you never lose it. If you could find a way to bottle it, m'dear, you could make a fortune. Trust me.
Aaaaw, drbj, this comment caught me by surprise - the way you worded it- it's so very charming. Thank you! :)
Keep smiling, Marie - we can't imagine you any other way! :)
FP: LOL, Okaaay, will keep on smiling!
Take a look... :) :) :)
the smile comes from within VS and a tooth less or more does not make it any less enchanting.
all pain is a choice and you said except the extreme physical cases which are rare, we are the instruments of our own torture and mess up our lives because of that.
thanks for reminding us of that.
Thanks Neeles for your comments. It's true we humans can be instrumets of self-torture even when life is not giving us "challenges".
You have always been such an inspiration to me. I really, really needed to read your hub this evening and coincidentally had to laugh as I too, this very afternoon, tripped on the pavement; my ankle twisted and I went flat down on the front side of my body.
Fortunately, I was luckier than you as my teeth were not broken.
You have learned how to friend your pain and treat yourself with gentle loving kindness in the midst of adversity. Your amazing gift to be able to shift your perception and draw from your deeper inner resources is admirable.
I wish the best of luck with your recovery. It sounds as though you've 'opted' for a pretty good outcome.
Hugs to you,
Sage
Sage, So good to see you again, missed my hubpages friends. :) And ouch! Isn't this amazing, you fell and this article was in perfect timing! Glad you didn't get seriously hurt, though your ankle needs tender loving care so you heal fast. Darn being human, sometimes can be a trip. LOL.
Hugs to you,
Marie
Sorry to hear about your accident Marie. I sometimes think I should get dental insurance myself, because I am in a lot of trouble if something happens to me. Glad your smile will look great, though!
Thanks, Julia. To think when I had good dental insurance in NY, nothing ever happened to me, it was just regular check ups and fixing cavities. I sure hope my smile will be a happy one when the dental work is over! :)
Hi Marie, suffering is optional, suffering is optional....hahahahah I have been led to this hub and I am thankful for the reminder! Yes, you are one awesome lady which we all can learn from. To be able to see the positive side of things is absolutely a wonderful trait. I am glad your teeth is getting the works. And I know you will be blessed financially to meet all the payments and more. Blessings to you dear one. Hugs..
Hi Michelle, My dentist turned teacher and healer friend, :) Thanks for the positive thoughts on finances, needed this reminder too! :)
Marie , one thing I know for sure is that Marie , my friend , is probably the most spiritually centered person I can think of here on hubs. I am truely sorry about your accident , and If it happened to me I would look to you for the serenity and "center " I would need to get through this. You have been such an inspiration for sooo many of our cyberfriends! You are amazing and that gives you your power! Get well and please stay in touch!........Ed ..:-}
I do agree ahorseback. An very inspiring look into optional suffering and ones ability to stay centered in the now. Beautiful Violetsun. Enjoyed it immensely!!!
Ahorseback: Thank you so much for your encouragement! Your words are very special to me. I am fine now, thank God, just need more dental work but at least I am on the right track.
Pennyofheaven: Haven't connected to you in a long time, so good to see you! Thanks for your comments!
I now blog at http://dancewithtruth.wordpress.com/. Do pay me a visit sometime. :)
Very inspiring hub. Thanks for writing and share with us. You are good example for us. I should learn from you. Take care!
Prasetio
Marie, I caught up with this hub after reading your comment on my latest hub. I embrace the teachings you aspire to practice. I know we have spoken of this like mindedness we each compliment the other on.
So, my friend, I support you in the ongoing practice that we are not the body and that all suffering truly is our choice. Well said.
I have recently had experiences and sessions with my teacher of the deepening of the nonduality state in which the body, as we know it, merges with boundless space. It is so peaceful.
The important thing, which you caution the reader with, is NOT to engage in repeating and reliving the story.
The identification is most commonly with the body, and as the body suffers "each and every pain" the mind relishes the experience of the victim. Then, the cycle of suffering is perpetuated.
When we realize that we have choices to engage in lamenting our woeful situations or, as you so sweetly put it, "...just get on with the day" there is space, there is pause, there is breath. And there is the freedom to allow contentment to come and pay a visit.
Your story is so useful for all of us to remember that we are so much more than what our circumstances dictate.
God bless you and it sounds like you have worked out a reasonable solution for your financial situation. May you continue to receive the wisdom and peace of staying in the present moment.
Just happened upon this hub now, VS and hope you ae now totally mended from that terrible accident and having a wonderful holiday season. I'm hubbing more these days and enjoying catching up with old friends here. You are an inspiration as always. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours and may the dental work be done and over very soon.
Hi Violetsun, I'm sorry to here about your misfortune. I hope you get well soon, and I hope you good fortune, maybe you will win the lottery, wouldn't that be great. I to know what you mean when you say how things can suddenly happen. I woke up one day and had a heart attack and died shortly after. I also have a hub about it if you want to pass some time and come away enlightened.http://kevinsblog52.hubpages.com/ God bless and Mery Christmas
Hi Marie: Its already been 6 weeks from the date you published this hub. I just noticed it today and that too by going to your page on my own. Now HP has changed the system of sending notifications. They send it in a bunch of 10-15 hubs published in a week. Earlier I used to get the name of the hubber in subject line of the e-mail and that made things so easy. Now sometimes I just delete the e-mails out rightly without even checking the content. I'm feeling so out of touch with my favorite hubbers.
Hope you're feeling good now. Have you recovered fully? I can understand what 15K means without insurance. There is a higher power watching over you so don't worry. You'll soon pay off the debts (if you haven't already). It needs an enlightened soul to understand that such experiences are inevitable and one should remain unaffected as far as possible. You really are that soul. Hats off to you! (Hugs) Wish you all the happiness and prosperity in the coming year and may all your dreams come true!
Pras, Thanks for your comments, always good to see you my friend. :)
Denise, I know you fully relate to what I write as I too have been exploring non-identification with the body and connecting instead to the timeless Self. I have found that as I let go of beliefs, my mind and body resists, gets into fear, but then the peace is revealed. I am delighted you are on this journey! :)
Robie! Long time "no see". I too have slowed down in Hubpages. Have a Happy New Year!
Kevin, OMG, that had to be a nightmare! Sorry to read this. Will take a peek at your hub later today.
Anjali: I too am missing hubs because of the new mail delivery system, I don't like it and I also find myself deleting emails. I even missed the comments I had in my hubs, just saw them tonight. I am doing much better now, still have ongoing dental work as we slowed it down to manage the bill without struggle. Hugs to you my friend, and I wish you continuing success and much peace.
Thank you everyone for your comments, and I apologize for the delay in replying. I didn't know I had comments in this hub. I always appreciate the time and effort by readers who take the time to leave a comment!
Hospitals in USA charge very much health care in other countries is cheaper compared to USA though the standard is relatively the same. And yes suffering is optional and sadly most people choose it.
Have a good day :-)
Cleanclover, I have to agree with you! When my sister wanted a procedure done many years ago, she traveled to South America and had first rate treatment at the fraction of the cost.
What a great way to show presence! You rock! I hope all is still getting better and better ~~
Rachael, Thank you so much for your comments, made me smile with appreciation. :)
This hub is so absolutey inspiring. I have been working on changing my attitude for a while now. I have always 'sweated the small stuff'. My parents had short tempers, I may have learned it from them. LOL.
I am glad your teeth were fixed and glad you were able to stay happy and positive despite it. Rated up, beautiful, awesome, useful and interesting!
Amy, Your comments gave me a big, toothy smile, :). I used to be very volatile when younger but nowadays I much more mellow and do not sweat the small stuff. I think it's a learning process for many of us.
Thanks Violet Sun! I agree, most of us have to work at it. Suffering is optional, that's a great quote. I put it on my fb page. :)
Glad you enjoyed the quote enough to put in facebook. :)
Oh Marie, what strength you have! The way I see it, this hub already captured the so called "gleaming smile like the photo above" you mentioned. Love the title. Voted up, useful and beautiful:)
Violet , I have always known that your personal power was pretty amazing , so I dont know why you are surprised!lol...we friends could and do learn much from our girl Violet sun . I hope you are well and heal quickly . Cant wait to see your smile .thats a promise right?.....Be well and thank you for who you are!
Ahorseback, I am smiling, :) thanks for your support. Guess life teaches us to have personal power, it sure is a good teacher. :)
I am glad to know that surrender is not an option for you,be well and remain strong.....
Hi Loveofnight, I guess you meant surrender is an option for me? I see surrender as acceptance. Thanks for reading and your comments. :)
I can see what you mean,thank you for that eyesight and Be Well...
Thank you for this inspirational story. I am sorry to hear of your accident. I am glad you have shared it here as an example of not sucumbing to suffering. You are right, suffering is a choice and just by its nature suffering compounds itself by allowing self pity to join the show. I have suffered but choose to no longer. Thank you for this encouraging hub. My votes to you, VioletSun.
Fennelseed, Life is a growing process as I too used to get into suffering by making things larger than they were or compounding my issues with fears. I too have learned to surrender and it makes life more pleasant. Thanks for the votes! :)
I admire your up beat attitude!! I like to think I go with the flow and stay positive most of the time although I am not so sure I would have if I was in your position though.
A nice life lesson!!
An interesting and useful hub.
this is an awesome hub and totally upbeat-- I loved the title, it drew me, and really as you rightly pointed out-- for almost anything suffering is optional
Debbie, I didn't always go with the flow in my life, but have learned. Thanks for reading!
Rebecca, Exactly, suffering is absolutely optional. The mind is a powerful thing. Glad to see the title caught your attention. :)
That's a great story with a message worth reading. May the universe surprise you with a huge win of cash to make both your day, and your dentists day, bright and chipper..
Love your attitude!
Full Speed Ahead - One Inch At A Time!
Neil, I have a HUGE smile as I read your comments. :) I am open to receiving a huge win to make me and my dentist super happy! That would be so great as the expense is not easy. Thanks for reading and your positive energy!
I am in pain just picturing your injury! If you can manage to find a way to have positive thoughts in the wake of that sort of accident, you truly are an amazing person. Thanks for posting this reminder that we all have choices and power over how we approach life's problems! Voted up, useful and awesome.
Marcy, I can relate to feeling the pain of others by just thinking about it! LOL. I almost went into an understandable resistance about the situation, but nipped it in the bud, and it helped me to remain calm. Thanks for the vote and rating!
There is always a silver lining in a dark cloud and you have proven this proverb above through your writing. The world is the way we see and perceive it.
Hi Pinto, I love that proverb! And yes, everyday I see how perception practically creates our world.
Violet Sun- Agree that suffering is optional and totally a state of mind.
There is something call Health Share dollars here in CA. It is a no interest loan that you can pay off in a couple of years. Great Hub!
Hi tirelesstravel, Thanks for the tip on the loan. Will check out to see if we have a similar program in Oregon!
We are a people who have the choice of wallowing in self pity or taking the view that you have and seek out the more positive... very good hub and one I thoroughly enjoy... count me in as a new fan...
Hugs from Canada
Thank you, Rolly! Life does have ups and downs, so best to stay positive even in the midst of challenges.
Shalini Kagal Level 4 Commenter 6 months ago
You are such an incredible person! So many would have wallowed, but not you - you just look for that silver lining. Here's to getting absolutely OK soon and to all those debt clouds disappearing.